4. I Went to Burning Man. I Came Home to a Different Possibility.

Here I am at Burning Man, greeted by an infamous dust storm as I get off the bus, goggles and face mask on, thinking how the heck am I going to get through a whole week of this?!! You get used to it.

You truly meet yourself. In some ways Burning Man is uproarious massive random chaos, and in some ways like the most quiet vipasana (silent retreat). It feels like you're unplugged into an alternate dimension, with no concept of time in this bubble, and not much contact with the outside world (back in 2017, the reception there was shotty).

You're dropped off 8 miles deep into the desert, and have to bring all the essentials in with you, because there's no place to "buy" or secure them otherwise (unless you pay camp dues and the camp organizers have that taken care of for you).

Otherwise you bring in your own food, own water, just like camping, except you're preparing for extreme conditions like freezing 32 degree F nights and 110 degree F days and there's no escape from the desert dust.

It's SUPER dry, so you have to pack essentials and toilettries to keep your body hydrated or moisturized head to toe, otherwise things get brittle very fast and skin barrier and hair are prone to breaking (the most annoying to me was bloody cuticles ripping open). Also there are no showers for that week, unless your camp has arranged it or you're camping in an RV.

And most importantly, everything you bring in with you, has to come back out with you, "leave no trace" as the Burning Man motto goes.

All amongst 70,000 or so strangers, forming a pop-up city that rises up from nothing and vanishes back into nothing as everyone returns back to their daily life, completely changed forever or jaded by their day-to-day life after this kind of experience.

Why would someone want to subject themselves to these extreme conditions you may ask?? The answer varies from person to person.

For some its crossing something off their bucket list and wearing outrageous outfits because it's gotten trendier and trendier over the years.

For some it's to have fun, adventurous nights you remember for years.

For some it's for transformation to create an intentional interruption from their normal life and gain new perspective, break free from the mold or old box of your current identity and meet new like-minded people.

For some it's to find their own creative expression or escape their reality in a frenzy of partying & mind altering substances.

For some it's to process and integrate certain challenging patterns, blindspots or life experiences and truly meet yourself.

For some it's to prove to themselves that they are a badass, this is a rite of passage and they can do it.

All of those timelines and experiences exist there and are possible. Because the deepest lesson I learned while there, is that Burning Man is a microcosm of the macrocosm of life, you just see it more clearly there.

I'll be honest, I didn't initially come in for any of the deeper reflection reasons. (They didn't mention those on the "what to pack for Burning Man" blogs I was reading in preparation). It was moreso to experience the first one, crossing something off of my bucket list, being open to what it actually meant to be fully immersed in the experience and be there. I had no idea about the deeper transformation that it creates for you.

One of the most important lessons I learned there was about the power that randomness, synchronicities, non-linear manifestations and even a little of intentional chaos can create for you in your reality. (What I found out years later is possible because you are in the Level of Consciousness of Joy, as per Dr. David Hawkins' work "Power vs. Force"). In the Level of Consciousness of Joy, things manifest non-linearly and almost instantaneously, as you're surrendered, in the present moment, finding your flow and following your excitement.

I'd dabbled with the book "The Secret" and manifestation back in 2012 and had great success with it once I had a goal and was determined to manifest it, but I had no idea how quickly things can actually come to fruition before Burning Man! As the Burning Man saying goes "The Playa Provides". Like as instantaneously as you thinking outloud "damn I wish I brought a carabiner with me" and someone on the bus immediately gifting you one. I was amazed.

At Burning Man, I delivered my first aromatherapy workshop in the healing sanctuary. And in the healing sanctuary is also where I experienced my next permission slip -- Reiki Energy healing -- from one of my campmates who was a practitioner. I couldn't believe how clear, how opening and how catalyzing the experience was for me, bringing things up to the surface that were bottled up for years. I was grateful to be camping with many intuitive and healing practitioners, because that meant I got to receive so many of their insights as gifts because of the gifting economy there.

Many of them gave me the feedback that I needed to work on my grounding and to protect my energy field because it was too open. That affirmed what I'd been experiencing for years now with my root chakra flaring with the back pain and survival energy I'd been living in years prior, and solar plexus energy around boundaries and taking stock of who and what I was giving my energy to.

I thought this was the first time I experienced Reiki and energy healing, but when I got back home I remembered that I actually received it twice in my teen years (I grew up in a family who is super open to those things), once for my cheerleading back injury, and once after a heartbreak. It was miraculous how much it helped in both cases.

There were two main things I took with me when I left Burning Man:

I was inspired by how many creatives, healers and entrepreneurs I met at the burn and really wanted to step into this side of me even more and work on my energy as the intuitives recommended.

And I was inspired and wanted to bring some of that "The Playa Provides" magic home with me to what we call "The Grand Playa" aka daily life.

Back at home I made a vision board called "The Grand Playa Provides" and quickly started compiling everything from quotes and images that inspired me, to important goals I wanted to manifest.

I made a business card for my aromatherapy work. And about a month later, I found a second aromatherapy class I wanted to get certified in, and wrote a proposal for taking another wellness course and rationale for why I wanted to take it for reimbursement from my hospital. Having received my proposal, the Nurse Manager of the Department of Integrative Health reached out to meet with me because she's seen my name applying for other programs before. I was surprised to hear she wanted to meet with me.

At the meeting she asked me what interest I had in mind-body wellness modalities and asked me if I'd be interested in taking any trainings in energy modalities instead. And I said you mean, like Reiki?! She said yes.

This meeting apparently was an interview that I was unaware of at the time. Apparently, the department was actively recruiting other nurses to join their team in a per diem capacity and she asked me if I had availability to pick up regular shifts on top of my regular nursing job at the hospital.

I asked:

What does it entail? She said at least 3 days a month to be on their roster.

What's a day look like there? Receiving a list of patients around the entire hospital, from Maternity all the way to the ICU who inquired about holistic wellness and visiting them at the bedside to do energy work, meditations or guided visualizations with them.

And the hospital would reimburse me for this training? Yes.

And I would technically be getting paid over time, time and a half? Yes.

And I can wear business casual clothes and a lab coat, no scrubs? Yes.

And I can set up my day and work hours how I'd like as long as the patients on my list all get seen? Yes.

OMG Sign me up. I was getting closer to living the lifestyle I wanted with this job.

Wow, I couldn't believe how quickly and synchronistically my post-Burning Man intentions started manifesting.

I went online and searched my favorite NY Open Center to see what they had and sure enough they had a Reiki 1 training class starting immediately. I was ecstatic! I sent the nurse manager an email saying I'm in and already found my class!

Great, next I went online to one of my favorite stores at the time and started building my new wardrobe. They sent me a package with my things, and then a couple of extra items I didn't order. There was no receipt in the box. I went to the store in person and they allowed me to return those items for store credit because it was an error on their part. So I got EVEN MORE clothing from them. How can it get any better?