16. The Year I Called My Energy Back
This last chapter of working on societal level projects taught me about the intelligence of sequencing, discipline in focus, respect for cashflow and the ability to say no to misaligned opportunities. Since I was already involved in the misaligned opportunities. I made a declaration that 2023 would be about calling my energy, power and awareness back.
Same thing with calling it back from misaligned housemates. Our most recent oversight in discernment cost us. We had a roommate who was behind 3-4 months on her rent and we had to apply for pandemic housing related assistance as a result of it, not to mention our own tightness with funds. This created additional pressure and stress.
Each roommate came in with their own instability and it was a lot to hold and manage in a house and make it function smoothly, when my personal stability wasn't fully there. And also upholding the house ethos and co-manifestation agreement. As Clifton and I, who were the master leaseholders, agreed that this was a co-working, co-living space for conscious entrepreneurs, and it was a violation of our house ethos to have people without work, laying around on the couch watching movies quietly with headphones during broad daylight hours in the common area. Although highly considerate of being quiet and respectful of shared spaces, it still did not create a healthy, conducive, or motivating work environment for those of us working from home.
This really made me realize how your environmental cues are HUGE for your productivity and focus, and why surrounding yourself with high performers was huge. And so we had to start addressing this and making adjustments in who we chose to live with. I concluded that there's very different criteria for whom you would want in your space for 168 hours of the week versus whom you'd be friends with, and it's nothing personal.
What I learned about the flavors of conscious community living in LA, and the awakening journey in general, is that on one side you have the overly committed to doing infinite loops of shadow work, inner child work, family of origin healing work, past life healing work, exploring the spectrums of emotion and developing healthy relationships with your fear, sadness and anger, and wallowing in lower frequency emotions for extended periods of time and never quite pull yourself out of the hole of fixating on your Self.
And on the other side of it, you have the don't do any shadow work, just reach for a better feeling thought and spiral upward in your vibration a la Abraham Hicks, which if misinterpreted can lead to spiritual bypassing and never actually addressing your blindspots, and thinking meditation alone will manifest opportunities for you, without addressing your subconscious beliefs, emotions, narratives and ability to follow through with action.
Unfortunately, both can have you stuck for years at the same ceiling, and we've come across many who have been stuck there, and I too have been stuck there before.
Luckily at the end of 2022-early 2023 was the year I was beginning to come out of it. I think a major factor in that was joining a gym and lifting weights (finally after 4 years I got the message!!) Our coaching work had become more stable after pulling back from the large projects, but because of increasing demand of paying backrent we owed from making the wrong roommate decisions, and increasing credit card bills, Clifton and I agreed although we're not abandoning this business, it was finally time to re-anchor in the matrix with some additional work to build steadier income.
Clifton found additional advisory and consulting with with a tax, legal, accounting firm, which was huge for him because up until this point, he was not willing to give up on his vision. We didn't know at the time that sometimes the most supportive thing you can do for your vision is to find sustenance.
And I agreed, I'd look for opportunities using my nursing license. I hadn't done any nursing work since I resigned from my job in early 2020, taking a 3 year hiatus and then the pandemic happened and I had not been back since. I didn't even have a license to practice in California! I applied for licensure and did what I needed to to get re-established in that here. And went on some interviews at some local integrative health doctors' offices, doing IVs.
All of these opportunities, I would have considered my dream jobs years ago in NY. Holistic approach, outpatient, my own hours, and even getting into some multidimensional healing facilitation with IV ketamine treatments, as they were quickly gaining in popularity and becoming legalized. I took on one of the roles and was excited to re-anchor in my nursing work and re-build some confidence and consistency and discipline there.
Our framework was evolving, we had started adding onto the 1-Day Intensives, creating the new upgraded 3-month journey for living your Total Life of Joy and had been leading with the term Quantumpreneur, which we went all in on in 2022.
This uplevel of the program saw an uplevel in the sort of clients we attracted. Several were repeat clients from before and some of them were even upleveling too. One of our former clients was running for mayor and we'd become his performance and mindset coaches to keep him sane during his campaign. We also ended up coaching a former high performing business coach of ours, who wanted to get a quantum performance edge to his work and vision and infuse more joy into his other areas of life, which felt like a huge nod of legitimacy and acknowledgement.
Things seemed to be moving in the right direction as all of our energy was getting re-distributed into focusing on the coaching side of our business. While expanding the venture studio and wellness studio offers, with Clifton and my working with other organizations, him with the tax, legal, accounting firm, and me with the integrative health nursing work. We even launched our podcast where we would have conversations about consciousness and entrepreneurship, with founders of innovative tech and modalities coming on as guests, aka the Research Studio.
As all of this started grounding, our landlords made the decision to unground us. They gave us notice that they wanted to move back and re-occupy their house. And we had 2 months' notice to find a new place and move.
To be honest, it was in alignment with my 2023 intention to call my energy, power and awareness back from projects that didn't serve me. I was just too blind to see that one of those projects had been managing the house, as it consistently pulled my focus into problem solving mode there.
This was very much came out of left field and left Clifton and I both shocked, and swimming in uncertainty about our next steps. Did we want to stay in Topanga? Did we want to move to a new state? This was my dream home. I dreamt of becoming massively successful while living here and being able to buy it from them.
Instead I had to look for a new place to call home. The house hunt was unfruitful and I was beginning to grow frustrated after 1.5 months of looking, until we took the advice we give our clients in session. We both worked on our vibrational state towards this "unwanted" move.
We did what we do best and created a Sigil of what we were calling in in our next chapter for us two and our cat, Mica. Went into detail about the kind of home and environment we wanted to live in and how we wanted to feel. Just like we'd done for calling in roommates in the past and just like we have our clients create for their Total Lives of Joy.
We set the intention that this next place would be our place where we "get our shit together" in our work and creating a foundation for our future family.
Sure enough, within a couple of days, I'd found "the one". It looked just like the image of our new home we created for the sigil. And we started getting ready to pack, downsize and move. There was a lapse from when it would become available to us though for move in, leaving us with a month in between places.
It was a time period of absolute trust and deep surrender, with how and when this house showed up and our friends coming to the rescue. I was so appreciative of the community and bonds I'd built here over the years, with no family in California except the new friends I'd made. We had several great friends show up and offer us:
A place to stay in Hawaii for the month in between, with a car to use while there
A spot to land right where our other friends were house sitting as we were moving our things into temporary storage
Help with moving our stuff
Storing some of our bigger furniture pieces at their place
Catsitting for Mica while we were away for a month
And we had an awesome going away party concluding our chapter of co-working, co-living!
When we'd left for Hawaii, we didn't even have our new lease signed yet! It was just complete trust that it would all work out.
